The Emperor Of Cheese by Paul Atriedes

 

Oh bring me your Cloudkills and shut all your doors
Cast Protection from Magic for the Great Ring's ward
Set your traps wickedly to lure the mighty
Post your results (we'll think of you highly)
For you all are vanquished as quick as you please
The only Emperor is the Emperor of Cheese

Summon those monsters to soak up the spells
That maze your fighters in unbreakable cells
Stand just out of his artificial sight
And fill his world with fire and light
I have thousands more, different by degree
For I am the Emperor, the Emperor of Cheese

Where are the warriors bathed in red light?
Who bleed and cut night after night?
Who speaks for the great who dug in and fought?
Who knows well the Hells Firkragg hath wrought?
But for me it is as simple as the wind through the trees
For I am the Emperor, the Emperor of Cheese

Somewhere a wizard cries in despair
watching his last spell burst through the air
A knight lies awake shaking with pain
He will find a way! He will have his day!
Think of me, Oh Gamers, when you tire of these
For I am the Emperor, the Emperor of Cheese